


You Bring Us Together (Can't Tear Us Apart)

by homosociallyyours



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Exes to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Medication, Mental Health Issues, No Smut, OT5, OT5 Friendship, POV Niall Horan, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 08:11:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17240636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosociallyyours/pseuds/homosociallyyours
Summary: It's 2020 and One Direction is being brought back together for a Greatest Hits (plus a couple of new songs) album and reunion tour. Niall, Liam, Louis, and Harry don't know it right away, but Zayn is going to be a part of it along with them. The problem is that, in addition to leftover tension from Zayn's departure in 2015, Liam and Zayn have gone through a painful breakup and aren't at all ready to face one another again.They decide to spend two weeks in Northern California trying to reconnect with one another. It's going to be a hard process, and Niall is already anxious about the whole thing. But he knows coming back together is the best thing for them. Beach walks, breakfast, hot tubs, and a whole lot of making music with one another may help them unite, but could one strategic change tear them right back apart?The 2020 OT5 Reunion fic that your heart wants to heal with.





	1. Prologue: The Tweet

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for [gettingdizzy-oh](http://gettingdizzy-oh.tumblr.com) as part of the fanworks for charity. Her prompt was: "It’s 2020 and Simon has called the boys back together to perform on xfactor. All five of them. There’s some tension, but it’s amazing how easy it is to slip back in to the five lads on the stairs. Harry/Louis (Zayn/Liam is okay as well.)"
> 
> As you can probably tell from the summary and tags, I strayed a bit. But at its heart, this is a fluffy ass reunion fic, full of our favorite boys remembering why and how much they love each other.
> 
> I need to do something I hate and give a warning before this fic: I know absolutely nothing about the music industry. If you live for complete authenticity on it, this may be a disappointment. But if you, like me, don’t mind a little “that’s showbiz, babeee,” handwaving, you should be good to go here. I did do enough research to hopefully make it passable.
> 
> I did not, however, have this formally britpicked and all mistakes in that realm are a product of my California-dwelling brain. 
> 
> Finally, a big thanks to my wonderful beta and cheerleader, [statementlou](http://statementlou.tumblr.com), who was excited about this fic from day 1 and always wanted more. She's half the reason this fic is about 6k more than I originally intended.

This was not the kind of thing a person should learn from a tweet. That was one thing Niall was sure of. He wanted to be proper angry about it, too, wanted to call one of his managers and give them a few choice words. But he couldn’t. Because he wasn’t angry. Sure, he’d enjoyed his first album and tour and was in the midst of finishing up an even more successful second tour after releasing a sophomore album that had won him quite a bit of praise. But this? This was One Direction. And they were getting back together. 

When he finally got a call about it a few hours later, it wasn’t with any information, really. Just a meeting scheduled for three weeks out, just after the new year. He put it in his calendar and texted the boys. 

Niall: You boys get a call for the meeting yet?  
Louis: Yeah. It’s fucked. A fuckin tweet?? And three weeks to hear the details. H and I keep getting angry about it all over again.  
Niall: Shit timing for you, Lou.  
Louis: Right? Happy birthday to me. Thought I wouldn’t have to see Simon’s shit eating grin in person for at least another year.  
Liam: Fans are going wild about it though. We’re trending on twitter and tumblr.  
Harry: Tumblr crashed a couple of hours ago. Just got back up. Would be cool but timing sucks.  
Niall: Forgot you had one of those!! Louis does too?  
Louis: Can’t stay away even though it drives me mad sometimes.  
Niall: I can keep up with twitter pretty well but someone’s gotta put the phone in my hand. Hate it really.  
Liam: Ahh I’ve gotta say it.  
Harry: ??  
Liam: I’m excited to be back together for a bit. It’s been a couple years since we were all able to be in the same room at once.  
Louis: That’s the one good thing about this. I was planning on doing a second tour for my album and it’s getting held off til after this one.  
Harry: Yeah, Lou’s getting the shit on this one. But I can’t wait to see everyone again.  
Niall: I’m ready for a group hug. 

The conversation turned to more random life talk after that. Harry and Louis were having their families come ‘round for a little pre-Christmas get together, and Liam was in Miami doing another collaboration with an artist that Niall hadn’t heard of. 

Niall was a bit surprised when the phone rang, and didn’t even bother to check who was calling before he answered. Zayn was one of the last people he’d expected to hear on the end of the line, though. 

“Niall, how’ve you been, mate?” Zayn’s voice had a nervous edge to it that Niall hadn’t heard in a while.

“Good, pretty good. Pretty shaken up by this tweet. Guessin’ you’ve seen it though?” Niall felt the buzz of his phone alerting him that the text conversation was still going strong between Liam and Louis and Harry. 

“Yeah. I saw it.” Zayn paused, and Niall heard him doing breathing exercises on the other end of the line. He was about to say something when Zayn spoke again. “Got a call about it, too.” 

“Who’d call you about--” The question died on Niall’s lips when he realized what Zayn was getting at, and he stood, mouth agape, for just a moment as he tried to deal with what he was hearing. Zayn’s last weeks with the band had been painful to watch, and he didn’t want to imagine what being thrown back in could do to him. “They expect you to come back? I thought you’d found a way to end your contract. How can they--” 

Zayn cleared his throat. “There was always a clause. I knew about it, but next year was the last year they could do anything about it. I was hoping they wouldn’t.” He sighed, and Niall wished he was there to give him a proper hug. They’d bonded over the years about their mental illness and how hard it was to be in a business that thrived on making performers feel like they were going crazy, and he knew this had to be hard for Zayn if it was already making Niall need to take a moment.

After a deep inhale and exhale, Niall spoke. “I’m sorry. I know this has to feel so shitty. Are you going to tell the other boys?” He sat down and put the phone on speaker, his hands resting on his knees as he tried to focus on what Zayn was saying and not let his mind run away with worries of what this could mean for all of them.

“Maybe. Not yet. I don’t know,” Zayn said, the sound of wind blowing suddenly crackling through behind his voice. Niall pictured him stepping outside on the farm and smoking in the wind. Sure enough, he heard the telltale sound of Zayn taking a drag before he spoke again. “Might tell Louis, we’ve been keeping in touch. But Harry and I are professional at best and Liam...we haven’t talked in a while. Didn’t feel like tryin’ after the last time.” 

Niall sighed at the feigned apathy he heard in Zayn’s voice. He knew Zayn and Liam had fought in the summer, something big and explosive. The story wasn’t entirely clear to him, but he could picture it. Both of them had said things they felt they couldn’t take back, and they’d parted on the worst of terms. 

“You’ve gotta tell Liam, yeah?” Niall imagined the look on Liam’s face when he realized that their sweet reunion involved his biggest possible ex. It didn’t seem fair. 

“I--yeah, I’ll do it. Not today, though.” That tightness was back in Zayn’s voice, and Niall nodded sympathetically even though he knew Zayn couldn’t see him. “Just. Promise me you won’t tell them. Nialler? Can you?” 

It was almost too much like their band days, Zayn spilling his guts out about his fears and problems and then swearing Niall to secrecy. It hadn’t usually gone well for either of them back then, but maybe this time it could be different. Niall rubbed at his eyes and exhaled. “Sure, yeah. I promise. I won’t say anything. But you have to, Zayn.” Though Zayn agreed with a hurried stream of yeahs, Niall couldn’t help but feel a prickling of worry in his chest. He took another breath and hoped it was nothing. 

After that they said their goodbyes pretty quickly and Niall looked at his phone as the call screen disappeared and his texts came back up. The boys were asking about him in the chat and he lied, telling them he’d gotten a call from his mum. They had no reason to think he wasn’t telling the truth, of course. None of them would’ve thought that Zayn was coming back. Niall certainly hadn’t.


	2. Two Weeks in Marin

He meant to talk to all the boys again before their meeting, but it just didn’t happen. With the holidays and an appearance on a New Year’s Eve special booked, things were pretty hectic for Niall, and he hadn’t done more than send a mass text out on New Year’s Day wishing everyone a happy 2020. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about it, though. He’d had a few anxiety dreams about the meeting, most of them involving the band playing a show for a sold out stadium full of music industry people where each of the lads went missing at a key moment and Niall was forced to sing their solo or explain their absence at the last minute. Each time he’d awakened with his fists balled up tight and a tension headache from grinding his teeth. 

When the time finally came to show up at the SYCO offices, Niall was there almost an hour early. He ended up killing time in the loo before strolling in a slightly less ridiculous twenty-- ok, thirty --minutes early, taking his seat at the same conference table he remembered sitting at when the band had gone on hiatus so many years before. He took a tea that one of the interns offered him, not really interested in drinking it but trying to be polite. The girl who gave it to him smiled a little too brightly, that fannish smile that he’d seen more times than he could count, and he gave her a small nod and quickly turned toward his phone, pretending to be interested in it until she left. He couldn’t handle being Niall Horan™ at the moment. 

Liam was the next to arrive about ten minutes later, followed by Harry and Louis soon after. They didn’t talk about much of substance, mostly just rehashing what they’d done over the holidays instead. Niall did his best to listen, but he couldn’t stop thinking that things were not going to go well. And of course nobody had mentioned Zayn yet. 

When the label reps arrived just before the designated meeting time, a part of Niall thought he’d made up the whole conversation he’d had with Zayn. Or considered that maybe, just maybe, he’d found a way out of it. They were all shaking hands and smiling, after all. Not acting as if anything out of the ordinary was happening or making note of Zayn’s absence. 

And then the doors opened and Zayn walked in, his face cool and unreadable as ever. He looked at Niall and gave him a curt nod before sliding into the seat next to him, not looking up to greet anyone else. At that moment, the air left the room. Niall found himself counting his breaths as he looked around the room at the other people there. Louis and Harry were agog, mouths hanging open as they shared a look together, and Liam was completely tense, not moving or breathing or making eye contact with anyone. Even the executives who’d known Zayn was coming had wan smiles pasted on their faces and were looking nervously between one another as if they hoped someone else would break the ice.

Niall turned to Zayn and saw everything all at once. His anxiety, pain, and fear were there in the tension around his eyes and the set of his jaw. The cool, disaffected look he was known for wasn’t really him, and the effort it took for him to put up the facade was more than most people realized. He smiled carefully and put a hand on Zayn’s back, patting him as he turned to the rest of the group. “Well, gang’s all here,” he said, an ease in his voice that he didn’t really feel. That was his job, after all. There was Harry and Louis and there was Liam and Zayn, and Niall was the one in the middle who made sure that the rough edges were smoothed out. He made interviewers comfortable and eased the tension when there was a fight. And suddenly he remembered why he’d been okay with the hiatus when it had happened. This was going to be a lot of fucking work. 

“Louis, Harry,” Zayn gave them a nod from across the table. “Li.” He looked down instead of acknowledging Liam, his voice just a little bit softer. Though Harry and Louis both gave him a fairly courteous greeting in response, Liam did little more than huff a breath through his nostrils, his fists still clenched and his leg now bouncing under the table. 

“Well, suppose we’ll get started then,” one of the suits said. “I’m Chris, and I’m going to be your point of contact for the album you’ll put out. We’re expecting greatest hits, of course, but we’d like to give the fans a couple of new songs as well. Something that brings in your solo styles but with that special One Direction twist.” 

“No Simon, then?” Louis asked, his voice casual but his eyes focused on Chris’ face. 

“No, we’re, well. Let’s say we’re keeping him in the vaults for this one. We’re going in a new direction.” Chris laughed at his own pun as Niall groaned audibly. 

“First rule, Chris. None of the jokes about our band’s name are funny, and Harry’s the only one allowed to make puns around here.” Niall looked at Harry, who was smiling fondly across from him. “Only kidding, H. Your puns aren’t welcome either.” Niall snickered gleefully, watching Louis elbow Harry and grin at him. He didn’t always like it when the other lads took the piss out of Harry, but he usually made an exception for Niall. 

“Oh, um.” Chris chuckled uneasily. “Duly noted. As I said, I’m handling the album and overseeing the new music. I’ve also had a hand in the early stages of planning your tour, though the rest of that is going to be handled by Veronica here.” He gestured to the blonde next to him. 

“Right, we’re doing a world tour of course. Arenas, stadiums, massive venues only really. Two nights minimum in most major cities. And we’re including a few stops in Africa this time as well. When people think of the One Direction reunion, we want them to think massive. Epic. Record-breaking.” She had a fire in her eyes as she spoke, and Niall wondered if she’d been a fan. She was older than them, but not by much. And not that it mattered, really, when they’d managed to have fans of every age, race, gender, and sexual orientation from the beginning. 

“And I’m Alex. Marketing and PR. We’re really looking forward to the happy reunion. All five original members onstage together again. Really focusing on a more mature, brotherly image, so that media training that you’ve all gone through will of course be front and center here.” He looked pointedly at Louis and Harry and Niall looked down at the table to cover his eyeroll. They were old hat at this by now, switching easily between their public and private selves when necessary. 

“Not sure how we’re meant to do that,” Liam said, his voice clipped and tight. “When Zayn left the band so suddenly and immediately trashed everything about us very publicly, if you think from the fans’ perspectives.” He was still staring down at the table, biting his lip and furrowing his brow. “And honestly it’s a bit shit that you didn’t tell us you were bringing him back. Would’ve been nice to know ahead of time, maybe talk about it as a band and decide if we even want him here.” 

“You know everything that was said was fucking fabricated. At least on my end.” Zayn glanced toward Louis and Harry and they looked down, not wanting to face his stare. “And I’m back because of a clause in the contract, anyway. It’s not like I’m dying to be back onstage in front of 20,000 people.” 

Niall bumped Zayn’s knee with his own and gave him a smile. In the early days of the band, Zayn would’ve kept quiet about all of that, not wanting to make waves. It was better this way, even if it was going to make people uncomfortable. 

“Fuck this.” Liam shoved his chair back and walked out of the conference room, not looking back as the door closed behind him. Niall watched as everyone except Zayn exchanged looks with one another before shaking his head and standing up to run after Liam. He caught him at the lifts. 

“Hey, hey, where’d you think you’re going?” Niall put a hand on Liam’s shoulder, holding on when Liam shrugged too gently to cast him off. “Can’t have One Direction without you, Payno. You know that. C’mon.” 

Liam turned to Niall, wiping away the tears that were threatening to spill down his face. “Haven’t seen him in months, and he just shows up. Here. Here. Like it’s nothing. Like the last time he saw me he didn’t tell me I wasn’t worth his time.” Niall pulled him into a tight hug, not letting go until he felt Liam take a few deep breaths to calm himself. 

“I’m sorry about all of this. He shoulda told you,” Niall said, shaking his head ruefully. “And I shoulda guessed he wouldn’t.” 

“Wait. You...Niall, did you know? Did you know he was coming and not fucking tell me?” Liam’s brow was drawn down tightly, his eyes shining as he stared at Niall. “You did. How long?” 

“He called me when the tweet came out. I told him to tell you, and he made me promise not to do it for him.” Saying it out loud made Niall’s heart pound in his chest. He should’ve said something. Could’ve made everything so much easier today. 

“Course he did. Fucking asshole. Selfish fucking prick.” Liam pushed past Niall, storming back toward the conference room and shoving the door open as Niall moved to catch up with him. 

“--should be able to have a band meeting without him to figure out how we” Liam gestured between himself, Louis and Harry, and Niall, “want to proceed.” 

Though Niall had missed the beginning of what was said, he was pretty sure he could catch the gist of it, and he looked around the room expectantly, unsure how the people from the label would respond. 

“We’ll give you the room for a moment,” Chris said, ushering his colleagues out and giving Zayn a pained look until he sighed and followed Chris out of the room. As he left, Zayn made fleeting eye contact with Niall, and it was as though he was begging Niall to fight for him. Even if part of him hated this reunion, Zayn needed-- and really, wanted --to come back just as badly as any of the others. And Niall would help him. Of course he would. 

After they’d been alone for a moment, Louis was the first to speak. “He’s right about the shit he said, and the shit we said back.” He shook his head. “I mean I’ve apologized and we’re mates, but we all know how it is when they give you your lines and you don’t have any choice but to spit them out when you’re told. And if I could go back and smack meself in the head for the jokes I made at his expense, I’d do it.” 

Harry nodded along with him. “Yeah, no, I was pretty awful as well. And I know we don’t have the whole story of what happened between the two of you,” Harry said, looking at Liam. “But there’s got to be some way we can work through it. As much as part of me wants to just tell him to fuck off as well. We need to do this right.” 

“You know how it was for us after.” Liam’s voice was ragged, and Niall threw an arm around him, rubbing his back gently. “All that back and forth. And we kept trying to make it work. Or more like I kept trying, and he kept running away from me. And do you know what he finally told me? He said I wasn’t worth his time or anyone else’s.” 

Niall’s stomach clenched at the thought of how that must’ve made Liam feel. It was a low blow, especially given the way that Liam usually devalued himself. And they all knew that Liam and Zayn had a thing with time. Making time, always having time. Niall never really understood it completely, but Liam had a tattoo about it for fuck’s sake. 

“I don’t know if I can pretend we’re like brothers after that. I really don’t.” 

“What if we take some time together? Go somewhere and just sing a bit, maybe write together, sit around and get to know each other again?” It was a shit idea, but Niall put it out there anyway. “We were kids when we met. And now we’re a lot older, and we’ve done this a lot longer.” He saw Louis nodding and Harry watching Louis from the corner of his eye, which meant the two of them were in. “They’re gonna find a way to make this happen whether we like it or not. I think we can all agree with that if we think about it, right? So we have to find a way to make it work on our terms. Figure out who we are together now, and make this reunion something that works for all of us.” 

Liam sighed. “You’re right. I hate it. But you’re absolutely right.” 

“So we’ll figure out where we’re going and call them back in? Get the lot of ‘em on board?” 

They all agreed, and ten minutes later they’d decided. The five of them were spending two weeks in Northern California, and by the end of it they’d be a band again. Hopefully. Maybe. 

The travel plans were booked by the end of the day, the label executives acting as though everything was smooth sailing once they’d gotten the boys to agree to spend time together. Niall knew it wouldn’t be that easy, of course, but he nodded along with them anyway, trying to ignore the fact that Liam was looking anywhere but Zayn and that Zayn was completely withdrawn, staring down at the papers in front of him and drawing dark scribbles with the pen he’d been given. 

He was grateful that their flights were separate, at least, and that the label had actually chosen not to alert the paps to their arrival at SFO. The house they were staying at belonged to someone with the label-- Niall hadn’t really bothered to ask who --and was a pretty private place in Marin somewhere, not far from the coast and a quick drive into San Francisco if they felt like getting dinner some place posh. He tried to take the time that he was being driven up there to gather his thoughts and remind himself of some of the things he could do to keep himself calm and grounded when the inevitable stress hit. The house had a hot tub, and he’d made sure to download a few of his favorite golf matches to rewatch if things were getting particularly bad. Hopefully they wouldn’t. 

The house was quiet when he arrived, most of the lights off except for one in the massive den and another in the kitchen. He decided it might be worth napping if he could, and started exploring the house to find a room to stay in. The distinct sound of a moan stopped him in his tracks, and he moved a little farther down the hall to see if it got louder. It did, and he immediately turned and went the other way, resolved to find a room that wasn’t next to Harry and Louis. He’d learned that lesson early. 

Before he could explore anywhere else, Zayn arrived. He was wearing an oversized hoodie that he had pulled down and had a pair of sunglasses on in spite of the fact that it was already close to being dark this time of year. Niall ran over to hug him, pausing as Zayn pulled off the glasses to reveal red-rimmed eyes. 

“I can’t do this, Ni, really. How’m I s’posed to be here for two weeks with him after everything. If I was too much for him when he loved me, how’ll I be anythin’ but too much when he hates me?” The words fell out of Zayn’s mouth as if he’d been holding them in there a long time and they were desperate to escape. Niall pulled him into a tight hug and didn’t let go until he felt Zayn release just a little of the tension he was holding. 

“D’you wanna talk a bit? I was about to find a room.” Niall nodded in the direction he’d been wanting to explore, turning back to whisper to Zayn conspiratorially, “Harry and Lou are the other way. We both know how that goes.” 

Zayn laughed, and Niall enjoyed the tiny wave of peace that it brought to him. It wasn’t much, but it was familiar and comfortable, and he really had missed it. “I’m glad you’re the first one I saw. M’not ready for the other lads.” 

Niall paused, turning to put a comforting hand on Zayn’s shoulder. Being around Zayn was making his own anxiety kick up already, so he knew it must be even worse for him. “If you need to find a way outta this, if it’s too hard-- don’t feel like you can’t, yeah? Know it feels like there’s no choice, but you’ve been pushed around so much these past few years.” There might be nothing to do, actually, and they both knew that. But believing otherwise for a moment might make dealing with things easier in the long run. 

“Nah, s’alright.” Zayn leaned against the wall, shaking his head slowly. “Seeing Li’s gonna be the hardest part. Everythin’ ended so badly, s’like there’s not enough apologies to make it better for him. Or me, I guess. Fuck.” He ran his hand down his face, blowing out a breath when he was done. “I’ve missed him though. That’s what’s fucked. He’s like, the one person I wanna see and the last person I should.” 

“Give yourself some time, then. Ya don’t have to talk with him straightaway. We’ll room next to each other and have some time one-on-one to start. Maybe even write a few tunes together.” Niall grinned, the idea making him genuinely happy for just a moment. He and Zayn hadn’t gotten to do any writing together in the band, and the blending of their two different styles-- whatever it sounded like --would probably shake things up a bit. Not to mention that being with Zayn sometimes wasn’t so different from being alone, at least for Niall. They understood each other that way. 

“Yeah,” Zayn said with a slight nod of his head. “Us writing together. I like it.” 

“C’mon then, we’ll get settled for now. You take this one, I’ll take that one?” Niall moved out of Zayn’s way, grabbing his bags and heading toward the room down the hall a bit as Zayn opened up the one they’d been standing closest to. His muffled curse made Niall turn around quickly to see Liam standing in the doorway, hair mussed and nothing on but a pair of trackies. 

“Um, hi Niall,” Liam said, giving Niall a tight smile. “Zayn.” He only gave Zayn a curt nod, nothing more, before turning back to Niall. Think there’s another room down the other end of the house for whoever wants it. I’ve claimed this one already.” His bags were opened neatly but not unpacked, the duvet untucked on one end but the bed looking mostly pristine otherwise. Niall cleared his throat. 

“Mind if I talk with ya for a moment?” he asked Liam, nudging him into the room and closing the door behind him instead of waiting for a response. “Look, can Zayn have this room? You know how things are for him, Li. It’s gonna be awkward enough without him staying over in Harry and Louis’ annex.”

Liam sighed, rolling his eyes. “S’always like this.” He smiled half-heartedly, shaking his head. “It’s gonna be hard for me too, you know? He’s not the only one who’s dealt with a lot of shit these past few years.” 

“I know, mate. But I think you’ll come out and join the rest of us no matter where you stay.” He put his hand on Liam’s shoulder and squeezed, hoping the rest of what he was trying to say came through without him verbalizing it. 

“Fine. Yeah, he can take it. Gimme a few minutes to pack up.” 

Niall nodded at him in thanks and then opened his arms a bit, silently asking permission to hug Liam. They embraced one another quick and tight, Niall clapping a hand on Liam’s back as he whispered, “You’re a good man, Payno. I’m sayin’ thank you even if Zayn can’t.” 

When he’d finally settled in his room, Niall was exhausted from everything he’d been doing, wanting nothing more than to drink a beer and watch a bit of golf. He settled for taking a shower first, laying out fresh clothes to change into when he was done, and taking a few minutes to scrawl a few lines into his journal. Some of it was personal, but most of it was bits and pieces of song lyrics and music, and all of it allowed him to clear space in his head so that he could go out and see what was happening in the house. 

It turned out that nobody really wanted to spend their first night socializing, as the kitchen and den and dining room were empty and quiet when he ventured out. There was pizza though, and after taking a look at the toppings he gave a quiet thanks to Louis for ordering it for them and checked the fridge for beer to go along with it. When he returned to his room, it was with a second beer and a need for one of the golf matches he’d brought along. He fell asleep twenty minutes in, beer mostly empty and thoughts of how to handle the situation with Zayn and keeping the peace in the band finally ceasing their buzzing around his brain. 

Unfortunately it didn’t last long enough, and Niall was awake by 6 in the morning, cursing time differences and wishing he could make himself go back to sleep. He gave in an hour or so later, accepting the fact that his sleep patterns would be a bit messy for a few days. He didn’t expect to find Liam up and eating breakfast, though. 

“Morning,” Liam said, lifting his avocado toast in greeting. He looked well-slept and far too chipper. Niall pulled a face and went to flick the kettle on to make himself a morning cuppa. “There’s good bread if you’d like toast. And jam in the fridge. Eggs too. They stocked us up on a few things.” 

“Got your precious avocados, too, I see. Don’t let Tommo throw ‘em out.” Niall raised an eyebrow, only half joking. Louis really would throw them out just to wind Liam up. Probably Harry, too. 

“This is the only one. I hid the other half so Harry wouldn’t find it.” Liam wore a mischievous grin, his eyes sparkling, and Niall gave him a little laugh. This was the Liam they got most of the time back when it was the five of them, before things got worse for him. And it was still the image he put on most of the time for the fans, even if it wasn’t always in line with how he felt. 

“Glad you’re back to joking around, Payno. I was thinking you and I could sit down with Lou later, maybe mess around a bit with some things I’ve been working on, if you’re up for it.” Niall fixed his cup of tea and took a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen island. “Sound fun?” 

“Don’t think I’m ready for it yet,” Liam said, casting his eyes in the direction of Zayn’s room. “He’d probably leave if he heard us, anyway.” 

Niall hummed in response, exactly the kind of noncommittal noise that had kept him neutral in a lot of arguments over the years. Liam probably wasn’t wrong, but Niall didn’t want to risk being overheard agreeing with him. At the sound of feet padding along the wood floors, Niall turned and saw Zayn walking into the kitchen. He was immediately grateful that he hadn’t said anything, and quietly hoped that Zayn had missed Liam’s comment as well. 

“Morning,” he said, grabbing an extra mug from the cupboard. “Tea?” 

“Coffee,” Zayn croaked, rubbing at the back of his head as if it would help him shed his residual sleepiness. 

“There’s almond milk in the back left.” Liam spoke softly, but it was definitely loud enough that Zayn could hear him. He didn’t respond, but opened the fridge and pulled out a container of almond milk. He was about to stand when he crouched back down and reached in for something else. 

“Sick, an avocado.” Zayn set it on the counter and poured himself a coffee with a generous splash of almond milk as Niall leaned back and sipped his tea. Liam appeared to be lost in his phone, scrolling through instagram and liking pictures, but when Niall glanced at him, he could see Liam surreptitiously watching Zayn make his own avocado toast, and it made Niall smile into his cup. 

“You’re up pretty early,” Niall said as Zayn licked the avocado off the knife he’d been using to make his toast. “Up for a bit of fun, maybe?” 

“Couldn’t sleep that well,” Zayn said. He leaned against the counter as he took a sip of coffee. “Figured it was better to just say fuck it and get up, maybe do a bunch of shit today and sleep better tonight.” Liam coughed as if he was clearing his throat, but quickly put his head back down to look at his phone, pretending to ignore everything Zayn was saying. 

“Yeah, thought it might be a good day to go down to the city, but it’s not exactly pretty out there.” Niall nodded toward the large windows that looked out onto the pool and hot tub. The morning sky was a pale grey and rain fell in a light but steady drizzle. It wouldn’t be so different from London, then, but that wasn’t exactly the kind of weather that made you want to go to the beach. 

“Might be nice to take a beach walk with nobody out. Time for thinkin’ and that.” Zayn bit into his toast and Niall nodded, half agreeing with him and half thinking that a walk on a rainy beach sounded like pure punishment. They didn’t talk for a while then, Niall throwing some food together as Zayn finished eating and Liam kept pretending to scroll through his phone. The silence was familiar and comfortable, not exactly like how it’d been in their younger days, but not so far off either. Niall almost got comfortable with it. 

“Weather says it won’t get above ten degrees at the beach today, probably even colder with the wind they’re predicting.” Niall turned to look at Liam, wondering why he’d broken the peaceable silence. “Rain could stop after noon, though it’ll be high tide by 3, which doesn’t leave a big window of time if that’s where you wanted to go.” 

Zayn sighed, setting his plate and mug in the sink and shaking his head. “‘M sure it’s fine. You wanna go, Nialler?” He raised an eyebrow at Niall, who immediately felt put on the spot. 

“Yeah, sure. What about the other boys? Maybe we should make it a group trip?” Niall glanced toward Liam carefully. 

“We’ll leave around noon, yeah?” Zayn said, as he walked back to his room. “Invite whoever wants to come.” He didn’t bother to turn around again. 

“So? Coming, Payno?” Niall asked with a slight smile and eyebrows raised. Liam just shook his head quickly. 

“No way, he really doesn’t want me around. I’m gonna go back to my room and just, um, work on a few things while you’re out. Do your own bonding or something.” Liam put his dishes in the sink next to Zayn’s and grabbed his phone before heading for his room, leaving Niall there to wonder if he should try to wake Harry and Louis or leave them to it. 

For reasons he couldn’t quite explain, he chose to go talk to Zayn instead. He knocked, announcing himself and waiting for Zayn to tell him to come in. He found him watching a video on his phone, lying in bed with a hoodie on and his pack of cigarettes lying next to him. 

“Was gonna go smoke but I got distracted, I guess. Go with me?” Zayn barely looked over from his phone, eyes trained on the screen. Niall wondered vaguely what the video was that had him captivated. 

“Yeah, I’ll sit with you.” Niall smoked a bit when he got really pissed, but the truth was that having the smell on his clothes stressed him out and didn’t do much good for his OCD. But then he’d spent a lot of rainy mornings sitting on hotel balconies with Zayn while he smoked, so he figured that the nostalgia of it was a bit stronger than the potential drawbacks. “Make sure you’re not blowin’ it in m’face is all,” he joked. 

Zayn pretended to bring a cigarette to his lips, taking a dramatic inhale and then blowing as much air as he could muster into Niall’s face. “So like tha’ then?” He smiled and giggled, and it made Niall do the same. And that’s why this had to work. They were all different, sure, but they were the same five boys who’d been thrown together all those years ago. They had to do this for them. 

“C’mon out, fucker. Back garden has fancy chairs I bet.” 

It did have fancy chairs and a nice table that hid piles of soft blankets. Zayn and Niall each grabbed one and wrapped up in them to keep the chill away as Zayn took his first drag of the morning. “Fuck, shoulda grabbed more coffee,” he whined on his exhale. He handed the fag to Niall and hurried inside, coming back out quickly with his mug. “Thanks, babes.” 

“Didn’t gimme much choice, did ya?” Niall feigned annoyance and Zayn shook his head fondly. 

“You never used to mind.” Zayn took another drag as he balanced his coffee mug on the arm of the chair. “Did you?” 

Niall looked at him and shook his head immediately. “Nah, makes me feel important or summat. Gives me something to do.” 

“Good. That’s good.” Zayn looked off into the distance and sipped his coffee, tilting his cigarette so that the smoke drifted slowly away from Niall. “D’you wanna go to the beach with me?” 

“If you’re going, I’ll go. I figure all the lads’ll feel that way.” 

“How’d Liam feel?” 

Niall tried to school his expression into something less surprised, but knew he’d failed miserably by the way that Zayn looked at him. “He didn’t really think you wanted him along, so he said he’ll do something else while the rest of us go. Did you? Want him to go?” 

“I dunno. He’d always do that thing he did when I’d suggest something he thought wasn’t a good idea.” Zayn took a final drag of his cigarette and snubbed it out against the wood of the deck, pocketing the butt. “You know. How he started telling me the weather so I’d feel like I wasn’t choosing the right thing? S’like maybe he thinks everythin’ about me is a bad idea. But instead of telling me he like, wants me to figure it out based on whatever he’s thinkin.” 

Niall took a deep breath and pulled the blanket a bit closer to himself. “I guess it could feel that way,” he said, nodding as he thought through everything Zayn had just said. “But I wonder if he just felt protective or like maybe he wanted to look at the picture a bit wider.” 

“Yeah, I know it seems like that.” Zayn grimaced and scrubbed at his eyes for a moment before continuing. “But sometimes s’like everything I want is big and wrong. Bunch of shit mistakes all piled up, and he’s the one who would’ve been right.” He kicked at the table in front of them absentmindedly and then turned to look at Niall. “He said he thought I didn’t want him along?” 

“That’s pretty much wha--” 

Before Niall could really respond, Louis and Harry opened the door, both carrying plates of food and mugs of coffee, Louis shouting as soon as his foot hit the cool wood of the deck. “It’s fookin’ cold! Why’re the two of you out here?” 

“Why’re you, Tommo?” Niall grinned as Louis tucked himself into a nearby chair. Harry pulled another one into the circle and then looked around for a moment before miming a blanket at Niall, who nodded toward the storage table. 

“Morning ciggie,” Louis said, using his shirt to keep the wind away as he lit his cigarette and took a first drag. Harry tucked a blanket around his shoulders and Louis looked up at him and smiled. 

“Plus s’not like we only wanna see each other,” Harry said as he sat down. “We saw you two out here and thought we’d join.” He draped his blanket over his lap and took a bite of his eggs on toast. “Got any plans for later?” 

“We’re talkin’ about heading over to a beach in the afternoon to take a walk. Weather’s bad enough we’ll probably not get noticed if we wear a few layers.” 

“That’s gonna make me miss Cliff,” Louis said. “But sounds alright anyway. Harry?” 

“What? Yeah, I’m in. I’ll try to blend in.” 

“No Gucci, Harry?” Zayn asked, his voice light like it had been in the early days. It made all of them, Niall included, turn to look at him, as if none of them was really sure of what they’d just heard. After a moment, Harry raised his brows and chuckled lightly. 

“I’ll leave it all at home. Wear some, ehh, oh! Yeah, Valentino, that should be about right,” he said, tapping his head thoughtfully. Louis rolled his eyes and smiled, and Niall watched as Zayn nodded and let out a little laugh. 

“Calvin Klein would work too,” Zayn said casually, shrugging beneath the blanket he had wrapped around himself. Everyone giggled a bit, and he stood up, dropping the blanket onto the chair. “I’m just gonna go shower and do a bit of reading.” He nodded in the direction of the door. “We’ll leave just after noon if the rain’s stopped?” 

“Sounds great,” Louis said, finally tucking into his plate of food as Harry took the last couple of drags from the cigarette Louis had passed him. Louis watched as Zayn closed the door and walked to his room, making sure he was out of sight before he leaned toward Niall. “Alright, spill Nialler. What’ve we missed so far?” 

Niall filled them in on what he could, careful to avoid anything he thought might’ve been said to him in confidence. It wasn’t always easy being the middleman of sorts, but at least he’d had practice with it and knew he’d fall back into it easily enough. When he got to the part about the avocado, Harry and Louis both made noises of disgust, though it was obvious that they were for very different reasons. They shared a look and turned away from one another, half smiling as they shook their heads, and Niall laughed to himself. 

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it.” Louis leaned back in his chair a bit, shifting his legs underneath himself to get comfortable. “I think it’ll be better if they get back together. And Liam obviously still cares for Zayn, if he’s doing things like that.” 

Harry leaned forward, nodding. “Lou’s right. You know we’ve had,” he waved his hand and then glanced at Louis, who finished the thought for him: “ups and downs.” They nodded to one another, and Harry continued. “But we’re better together, and so are the two of them. D’you think Zayn knows?” 

Niall shrugged. “Maybe? Hard to tell how much of it is just me wantin’ them to get back together and how much is coming from them.” 

It was still damp and cold and foggy around noon, but the rain had definitely stopped, so everyone but Liam piled into the rented Range Rover that was left at the house and drove out to Stinson Beach. As they’d hoped, it was mostly empty, the cold January weather and brisk winds keeping everyone but a few devoted and pretty focused beachgoers away. They bundled up in hoodies and scarves to keep the wind at bay, all but Niall adding beanies to keep their hair tucked away as well, and by the time they stepped foot on the beach Niall was pretty certain they’d have complete anonymity for the short time they were there. 

Harry and Louis ran out onto the sand, racing one another to the water as Niall and Zayn hung back, stepping slowly through the rain-damp sand. Zayn had his eyes trained on the ground, and he kicked at a piece of driftwood that Niall tracked the movement of across the sand. “Wanna walk alone, or you feel like company?” 

“Your company’s nice right now,” Zayn said. It made Niall grin, bumping his shoulder against Zayn’s lightly, Zayn tipping his head onto Niall’s shoulder for a moment in the brief semblance of a cuddle. They walked a bit farther in silence, just the sound of the wind roaring in their ears and the ocean crashing beside them to fill the space. “Did you miss writing the way we used to when you made your albums?” Zayn asked after a while. 

“A bit, yeah. That shorthand we had with each other was pretty special. S’not something you find with everyone you try to write with. And sometimes even the ones who match up with you still don’t have it.” 

“Yeah. It’s not like I hated writing alone or with new people, just that I realized I missed the way we wrote together sometimes.” Zayn bent down and picked up a smooth black stone, turning it over in his hand for a moment before slipping it into his pocket.

“Always knew you were a sap like me,” Niall said, putting his hand over his heart. Zayn elbowed him gently. 

“Yeah, tha’s obvious. Never hid that well, did I?” 

“Not from anyone who paid attention,” Niall said quietly. At the sound of footsteps pounding on the beach behind them, he turned just in time to get tackled by Harry as Zayn was brought down by Louis. 

“Oh no! Sorry lads, sorry, was havin’ a run on the beach and stopped lookin’ where I was goin’ there,” Louis said, piling onto both Zayn and Niall as Harry giggled helplessly alongside him, also wriggling into a sort of cuddle pile on the beach. 

“If you wanted a cuddle, Lou, all you had to do was ask,” Zayn said, voice tinged with feigned boredom as he wrapped one arm around Louis and shoved the other under Niall to pull both of them closer, Harry rolling himself on top of the three of them too. They were all laughing as an actual pair of beach runners jogged past, slowing down to stare with wrinkled brows at the four men piled together on the sand. 

They finally got up and dusted themselves off, Louis and Harry taking their shoes off and going to see how it felt to stick their toes in the frigid water while Zayn and Niall continued their slow walk along the beach. Zayn reached down for another rock, holding this one up to the light for a moment before tossing it aside and picking up another, this one pocketed right away. 

“What’re ya doing with the rocks?” 

“Hm?” Zayn had a stone in his hand as he turned to Niall, and he glanced down at it quickly before dropping it from his hand. “Jus’ like the pebbles.” He shrugged, then turned his eyes back to the ground, scanning for more. A shout from the water drew their attention, and they both watched as Louis ran away from Harry, who was laughing and kicking a spray of water toward him playfully. 

“Funny how they’re still together,” Zayn said as he finally turned his attention back to the ground in front of him. “S’been so long.” 

“Please don’t say they must be fireproof,” Niall groaned. Zayn’s immediate reaction-- laughter --made it obvious that he hadn’t been close to saying that. “You didn’t even think of it, didya?” 

Zayn shook his head. “Fuck, don’t tell ‘em, Nialler. They’ll make fun of me forever.” 

“Wouldn’t.” Niall bumped his shoulder against Zayn’s. “But what were you sayin?” 

“Oh, yeah. S’just weird, right? Two people being together for that long now, when we do what we do.” He looked at Niall for a moment and then shook his head. “Y’know what I mean.” 

It had always been different for Niall than any of the rest of them, so while he did know, he also didn’t. He was bi, but usually preferred women enough that he was read as straight by most fans and the general public, and even within the industry he didn’t have to deal with near as much of the shit that the other boys did. And the men he had been with were all outside of his band, so he never had to worry about spending long press days not looking at them or stressing over saying one wrong word and be possibly being punished over it. 

So it was weird, yeah, that Louis and Harry had not only found each other but managed to hold onto one another in spite of everything, and of course that meant that Zayn was also probably thinking about himself and Liam. Was that weird? Or was it stranger to have found one another and let go? 

Niall shrugged. “Sort of know, sort of don’t. I think you lot found your people, and mostly that’s pretty lucky more than anything else. S’worth holdin’ onto somethin’ like that.” Beside him, Zayn huffed out a laugh and shook his head. 

“I guess, yeah.” He pulled the rocks out of his pocket and looked at them before tossing all but one toward the water. “C’mon, I’m cold as fuck and I need a coffee. Let’s go home.” 

It didn’t take long to get Harry and Louis away from the water once there was the promise of coffee, and they ended up just barely making it back to the car before the rain came back full force. Niall breathed a sigh of relief, happy they’d missed getting wet, and let Zayn cuddle up to him as they waited for the car to warm up a bit. Up front, Harry held Louis’ hands in his own, briskly rubbing over his fingers as they talked quietly together. Niall gave Zayn’s shoulder a squeeze. 

“I reckon we should get Liam a coffee too, hm?” He glanced at Zayn to take in his expression, and noticed the slight twitch of his lips into and out of a smile.

“Yeah, might as well,” Zayn said, giving a little shrug. “He’d like it.” 

They ordered their coffees ahead and sent Harry inside to get them, bundled in a jacket and wearing a hat with his curls tucked up underneath. He got out unrecognized, somehow managing to carry all five drinks and a couple of pastries in one hand. Niall laughed at him as he got back in the car. “Nobody even caught that one, mate! Coulda used two hands.” 

“I like the challenge,” Harry said, passing the drink carrier back to Niall and grinning to himself. “Follow a couple of blogs that still post pictures, you know. Gotta stay limber.” He flexed his fingers, wiggling them toward Louis, who snickered to himself and then started to speak. 

“I can think of a few thi--” 

“No! Stop it! S’been long enough since I’ve heard about what you two get up to. Not starting back now.” Niall gave Louis a hard look as he spoke, even pursing his lips so he’d look even more serious. Of course, Louis responded by bursting into laughter, completely stymieing Niall’s attempt at teasing. He couldn’t hold back his own laughter as Louis spoke. 

“Ehhh Nialler, love you pretendin’ like you hate the dirty details, lad. We all know better.” He waggled his eyebrows, and Niall kicked at the back of his seat. 

“C’mon, shut it,” he said with a laugh. Beside him, Zayn was lost in a fit of giggles and he looked over and smiled at the sound. “I’m ready to get back to the house and you lot are holding us up.” 

“You started it,” Harry said, looking over his shoulder and starting the car. “Pretty sure Lou was just talking about, umm. Playing guitar.” 

“Sure I was, love.” Louis reached over and patted Harry’s thigh, giving it a little squeeze. “Sure I was.” They kept up the banter all the way home. 

When they got back, Niall went looking for Liam straightaway, finding him in his room with the door open, listening to music and bopping his head to the beat as he worked on a sketch of some sort. “We’re back, Payno. Brought you some coffee, if you’re in the mood. 

Liam looked up from his drawing and smiled. “Yeah? Thanks, mate. How was it, then? Pretty? Did you get rained on much?” He set his things aside and stretched as he got up, turning his music off and pocketing his phone to follow Niall back into the kitchen. 

“Just barely missed the rain. It was cold out, but nice. You should come next time.” Niall turned back and gave Liam a look. “Really. I think it’d be nice.” 

“Yeah, maybe I will,” Liam said half-heartedly. “What’d you get me, anyway?” 

“Oh, um, a tea latte something?” Niall shrugged. Zayn had been the one to suggest it. 

“That’s perfect! It’s my favorite thing to get when it’s later in the day. Feels warm, but it’s not got so much caffeine.” Liam picked up the cup, letting out a little gasp. “Oh, nice! Who picked up the beach stone? Is it yours?” 

Niall turned to see what he was talking about and immediately recognized the rock that Zayn had picked up. Liam held it under the faucet for a moment, re-wetting it, and then turned it around, examining it closely. “I always pick up stones when I walk on the beach. Did it the first time my family went when I was ten or so, and I’ve always done it since.” Liam smiled at the memory. “I tried bringing a whole bucket’s worth home that first time, and Mum said I had to choose one. Still have it, actually.” 

“Wasn’t me,” Niall said, looking back at Liam expectantly, hoping he’d gather that it was Zayn. 

“Huh. S’pretty cool, anyway. Maybe I’ll see if anyone brings it up later.” Liam sipped his latte and pocketed the rock before asking Niall more about the afternoon at the beach. If he thought that Zayn was the one who’d left the pebble, he didn’t say anything else about it. Niall was left to wonder what, if anything, he could do to help Liam and Zayn work through the misunderstandings that had pulled them apart. 

The next few days, the boys all started to fall into their own routines and rhythms. Niall heard Louis and Liam working together a few times, often just goofing around but occasionally focused intently on whatever it was they were working on, their voices blending quietly as they worked out melodies and lyrics. Harry joined them once or twice in addition to doing a bit of writing and singing with Niall. Their styles were different, but they shared enough musical influences that when they’d hit on something they liked they’d really like it, one or both of them humming it under their breath for hours afterward. 

Zayn, however, was still holding himself back, and Niall couldn’t stop worrying about him. At all hours of the day, he’d hear Zayn singing quietly in his room, his ethereal voice drifting through the walls, his words slipping past Niall’s ears and leaving him wanting to know what Zayn was singing. One evening when he couldn’t stand it anymore, he knocked quietly on Zayn’s door. Zayn’s hushed strumming and airy words stopped abruptly, and he cleared his throat, inviting Niall in. 

“Alright, that’s it,” Niall said once he’d come in and shut the door behind himself. “You and I are writing together right now. And then you’re gonna work with me and Harry tomorrow afternoon. I won’t take no for an answer.” 

“Okay,” Zayn said, looking away from Niall with the hint of a smile in his voice. “Come in. We’ll work on summat.” 

They wrote for a few hours, and Niall found himself smiling at the ease with which they worked, both of them sharing the work of coming up with the music and the lyrics fairly evenly. By the time Niall found himself yawning and ready for sleep, they’d fleshed out the bones of a song that they were both pretty excited about. 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Niall asked as he got up to go back to his room. Zayn shook his head, smiling fondly at Niall. 

“Nah, it was pretty alright.” He flopped back on the bed and patted the space next to him. “Come back and talk with me for minute before you go.” Niall glanced at the clock and winced at the time. It was close to one in the morning and he knew he’d be tired when the morning rolled around, but he decided to sit anyway. 

“I can only stay ten more minutes,” he said, lying back on the bed next to Zayn and looking up at the ceiling with him. 

“I’m still afraid to write with the other lads,” Zayn said, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I want it to work. I didn’t think I’d really want to be back, but I do.” 

Niall sighed, his own fears and anxieties rising up in a sympathetic wave that he let wash over him and slowly ebb away. “I think that’s how we’re all feeling. We all thought this was going to be us getting trotted out and made to do what the label wants, but I don’t think we’re gonna let it be like that.” He paused for a moment, unsure how to say what he wanted to say without speaking for anyone else, especially Liam. “And I think it’s true that all of us want you there. You’ve gotta know you’re part of it, Zayn.” 

They laid there in silence for a moment, Niall worrying that he’d somehow pushed too hard to said too much until Zayn spoke. “I’ll write with you and Harry tomorrow. And, um, ‘ve been wanting to see if Lou wants to do something.” 

“That’s a pretty good start,” Niall said, beaming at the thought of the boys getting a few steps closer to working together. He and Zayn laid next to each other for a couple more minutes, not really talking but appreciating being together, before Niall went back to his own room. For the first time since coming to the house, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

At dinner the next night, everyone was in better spirits than they had been so far. Niall and Harry and Zayn had sat around together for a few hours, mostly just messing about, playing one another’s songs with their own unique twists and note changes. They ended up working on the song that Niall and Zayn had started the night before, Harry listening to what they had a few times over before asking questions and trying out a few additions. Niall wasn’t sure what stuck in the end, exactly, but he knew that he felt lighter than he had in ages, smiling at the thrill of writing with his friends again as stronger, better artists-- a bit wiser and yet not afraid to be silly. 

For the first time all week, they ended up in the hot tub together after dinner. The night was clear and cool, and the steam rose up off the water as they settled in. Harry had decided they all deserved a cocktail and came out with a massive pitcher of something pink and strong and five glasses. He then proceeded to strip off his clothes and climb into the hot tub nude, earning a playful slap on the thigh from Louis and groans from everyone else. 

“Jesus Harry, I’ve gone how many years without seein’ your willie and then you’ve gotta show it off just like you did when we were kids,” Niall said, splashing water in Harry’s direction and shielding his eyes as he laughed. “The rest of us could manage trunks.” 

“Yeah, but who really wants to do that?” he asked, leaning back to pour himself and Louis a drink. “Nobody. It’s a proven fact that swimming naked is more fun.” 

“We’re not even swimming!” Liam said, just as Zayn laughed and said, “You’re such a bullshitter!” The two of them looked at each other and exchanged slight smiles before turning away pointedly. 

“Whatever.” Harry sipped his drink and leaned back against the jet that was behind his back, looking as happy and relaxed as Niall had ever seen him. “You lot never appreciated my ability to enjoy being naked.” 

The unspoken “like Louis does” hung in the air, and Niall looked between Liam and Zayn, rolling his eyes along with them. 

“To be fair, baby, none of them were ever in love with you,” Louis said, laying his head back to rest against Harry’s arm. They shared a kiss, and Niall had a sudden flash of a moment on their first tour where they’d all been in a situation like this. He smiled at the memory, and Liam caught him, flicking a bit of water in his direction. 

“What’s funny, Niall?”

“Just thinking back to the time when we snuck into that VIP spa area. When we were still on the buses? Remember?” 

“Oh my God, we almost got so busted!” Liam threw his head back and laughed at the memory. “Zayn was the only one with a towel and we had to sneak back onto the buses even though they were looking for us.” 

“Not just a towel--Zayn was the only with a suit, too. Louis dared the rest of us to go in naked and we did.” Niall had been so eager to impress the other boys-- especially Louis --with how cool and worldly he was back then. Sure, the thought of getting caught running around with no clothes had been pretty awful, but the idea of Louis’ scorn had been much worse. He remembered talking about it with Zayn afterwards and being awed when he shrugged and said it wasn’t the first time he’d gone against a group and he figured it wouldn’t be the last. Legend. 

“You totally saved our asses,” Liam said, smiling at Zayn. “Let me and Niall hide behind your towel. I thought you were such a hero when you went out to check the hall and handed it to us so we could run out while you kept watch.” 

“S’funny you remember that,” Zayn said, body turned toward Liam but his eyes cast down as though he wasn’t quite able to look back at him yet. He was smiling, though. “I just thought if we got caught they’d send us back home or summat. You were freaking out. I didn’t want you to be scared.” 

Niall looked at Louis and Harry, who stared back at him with pleased, knowing smiles. None of them wanted to disturb what was happening between Liam and Zayn, so they stayed quiet, the sound of the hot tub’s jets bubbling away the only noise for a moment. It passed quickly, though, Liam laughing a bit and reaching for his drink as Zayn sunk a bit lower into the water, leaning his shoulder into the jet as if working out a sore spot. 

“Big difference here is that we’re all adults now. Nobody to answer to. Probably nowhere we could go that we’d get kicked out of right away,” Liam said. “Pretty weird.” 

“You’d get kicked out of a lot of places if you took your willy out, Lima,” Louis said, pulling a piece of ice from his glass and tossing it so it bounced off Liam’s head. He cackled, giddy at the perfect shot, and sipped his drink. “Don’t go tryin’ it, yeah?” 

Louis’ gibe led to a classic water fight between him and Liam, and Niall found himself joining in, splashing at both of them like they really were all kids again. Harry and Zayn joined in too, all of them making noise and threatening to dunk one another in the small hot tub. When they got out, they had to run for the house, their towels all soaked by how boisterous they’d gotten. Niall was the last one in, so he heard it when Liam and Zayn said goodnight to one another as if they were two friends on perfectly good terms. It might not last, but he’d take it. 

Things were even better the next day. Louis and Zayn spent the afternoon sitting outside in the rare midday sun, smoking and singing and playing guitars together as the other boys drifted in and out. From his comfortable position on the couch, Niall often looked up to check in on them, and was happy when Liam joined them and Zayn stayed put. Niall couldn’t really tell how things were going from such a distance, but he figured not leaving was much better than where they had been. 

Meanwhile, Niall had his notebook in his lap and found himself writing lyrics around everything that had happened in the short week they’d all been back together. He’d expected it to be emotional, sure, but this was so much more. It felt old and familiar, the same laughs and voices and that particular feeling he got when he was in the middle of it all, like they all made him better, somehow. And at the same time it was strange, like the things he knew were coming from people he didn’t know entirely. He hadn’t felt like this since the early days of the X Factor, and then he’d usually found ways to bury the anxiety or ignore it until he couldn’t anymore. Not being able to do that meant he had a lot to write about and a lot on his mind, even if he could see that everything around him was moving along nicely. 

That night, though, his anxiety got the better of him. After lying in bed with his eyes shut for an hour, trying in vain to make his mind stop and sleep overtake him, he gave up and did the one thing that could usually put him to sleep: he went to the couch. It wasn’t as nice as the one he had, of course, but he’d definitely drifted off on it a couple of times this week already, so he hoped it was good enough to do the trick now. He settled in and shut his eyes, focusing on the quiet hum of the kitchen electronics and faint sound of rain falling outside. 

He was almost asleep when he heard a whispered “goodnight” coming from the direction of his own room followed by the soft padding of feet across the space and toward the other rooms. He shifted a bit so that he could see who it was and his eyes went wide when he realized it was Liam. Coming from Zayn’s room. 

Niall laid his head back on the couch and sighed, unsure how to feel about this particular development. He had no idea what, if anything, had happened between Liam and Zayn, but at the very least they’d been talking, and it had been civil enough that Liam had said goodnight softly and no doors had been slammed afterward. Sleep didn’t come on the couch, and Niall ended up back in bed, watching an old movie til he drifted off and wondering what, if anything, he should ask Zayn about how things were going with Liam.

It wasn’t exactly the same, but Niall ended up trying to talk with Liam about it the next day. “So I tried fallin’ asleep on the couch last night,” Niall said as Liam made himself comfortable for the little jam session they’d planned. He had his back turned, pretending to be focused on getting his guitar out, but he heard Liam cough nervously. 

“Insomnia back again?” 

Niall huffed out a laugh. “Never left, really.” He stood and faced Liam, raising an eyebrow and wondering if he was going to volunteer any information. “You’ve been sleeping well?” 

“Yeah, yeah, absolutely,” Liam said, swiping his palms down his thighs. “Never had a problem with that, thankfully.” His nervous laughter was a sure sign that whatever had happened, he wasn’t going to share it with Niall. Hopefully that was a good thing. 

“Hey Niall, thought we might do some--” Zayn paused in the doorway of Niall’s room, staring at Liam for a moment before shifting his gaze back to Niall. “Sorry, I can come back,” he said, rocking back on his foot as if he were gathering the momentum to leave. 

Niall turned to Liam, willing him to say something that might get Zayn to stay. 

“You don’t have to go,” Liam said, speaking so quickly he nearly ran the words together. Zayn was staring at the ground, but the hint of a smile was on his lips. “We’re just doing a bit of messing about, nothing serious. It’d be cool if you wanted to stay.” 

Zayn didn’t say anything. He simply pulled a nearby chair away from the wall and turned it around, resting his arms on the back of the chair and looking at Niall with one eyebrow slightly raised and the corners of his mouth turned up just enough that Niall knew he was pleased to be sitting with them. 

“Alright, then. I’ll just,” Niall lifted his guitar by the neck and then hoisted it into his arms to start playing. It was a melody he’d been tinkering with for a while that hadn’t quite worked itself out yet. Liam caught on quickly, sometimes signalling to Niall when he thought something might be better higher or lower with a quick tick of his finger up or down. Niall would adjust accordingly and then look to Zayn. who would either be nodding along in time or pursing his lips, depending on whether or not he agreed with the change. 

When Niall had played through something they all seemed to like a few times, Zayn began to vocalize a higher harmony. Hearing his voice like that again made Niall burst into a grin, and he turned to Liam, giving him a nod of encouragement. He understood it, and began singing with Zayn, their voices blending in a way that was familiar and new at the same time. Niall came in, vocalizing the melody line and rounding out the sound of their voices. They didn’t have lyrics, but the tune itself was exciting; the energy buzzed through the room, playing out over their faces. 

As the song came to an end, Zayn was the first one to give a small whoop of excitement before breaking into joyful laughter. It caught hold of Liam and Niall as well, and the three of them couldn’t help but smile, Niall high fiving both Liam and Zayn when he finally set his guitar down. 

“That was something else, wasn’t it?” Niall exhaled into a laugh. “The energy was--” 

“Exciting, really exciting,” Liam said, his eyes twinkling. He hadn’t looked this happy in a while. 

“It was,” Zayn said quietly, nodding along with the others. “Really something.”

Niall didn’t bother pressing Zayn or Liam for any details after that. Their initial tension was gone, and what was left in its place was something peaceful, at least. He didn’t know where that would leave them, but he thought there was a good chance it would be far better than the place they’d started from. 

They got a text that night that saying that Chris from the label would be dropping in to check on them the next day, sometime in the afternoon. It made Niall’s gut clench a bit, the fear that the peace they’d started finding would be trampled on rising up in the back of his mind and refusing to be tamed. None of the boys wanted to talk about it, either, foregoing the casual hangouts they’d been having to scurry off to their separate rooms. 

Niall didn’t even bother trying most of his coping techniques, knowing they’d all fall flat in the face of the familiar stress that was coming for him. Instead he took an Ativan and turned on a recording he particularly liked of a deep breathing routine, allowing himself to fall into a dreamless sleep. 

He laid in bed for nearly an hour when he woke the next day, trying to fortify himself to face the day ahead. He couldn’t help remembering the label visits they’d had in the early days: Simon coming to yell at Harry or Louis for not following media training; long, high pressure talks with each boy about their image-- as a band and as individuals --that boiled down to only being able to make what felt like insignificant choices; and then there were the meetings inside hotels between shows with the pressure to write more, perform more, go harder. Niall took a deep breath and tried to imagine blowing it away on the exhale. He could never get all of it to leave. 

Chris showed up around 3, ringing the doorbell as if he hadn’t been given a key to the house. Harry answered the door, eating a banana as he led him into the kitchen where everyone else was gathered. Niall cracked a smile as he saw Harry making pointed eye contact with Chris as he peeled the banana and took another bite, chewing aggressively. It was his own way of saying ‘fuck you’ without using any words or ever being less than polite, and whenever he did it Niall found he couldn’t help but smile. It was just so Harry. Niall felt himself settle a bit. They were together in this. It didn’t have to be so bad. 

“Should we move to the table, boys? Or into the big office downstairs by the--” 

“I feel pretty good right here, Chris,” Louis said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter. His legs were spread a bit, and he’d worn a structured jacket and trousers. Niall was grateful that Louis was stepping up as he often had. He knew what to do and what to say, and another bit of tension left Niall’s body as he met Louis’ eyes and got a tiny nod. 

Together. They could do whatever they needed to. 

“Sure, sure, you’ve been here a week or so now, I’m sure you’re all comfortable right here. No worries, then. Just having an informal sort of chat, wanted to see how things are going.” Chris looked at each of them in turn, a placid smile on his face. He paused for a moment and then turned to Liam, staring at him for a beat. “And? How’s it going?” 

“Um, good, yeah, going quite well.” Liam looked around at the rest of them. “Don’t think anyone would disagree, right lads?” They shrugged and shook their heads. 

“Yeah, we’re having a good time, doing a bit of writing, havin’ a few laughs,” Louis said, tipping his chin up defiantly for a moment before dropping it back down and looking Chris in the eyes. “So why not go on and get out the reason you really wanted to see us. What is it?” 

“Well, we’re starting to think about a few little changes in the sort of press we’re going for, the story we want to tell, you know. We’ve had a bit of shake up in the team, Alex is out, and our new guy had some great ideas that we think might be truly--” 

“What exactly are you talking about changing?” Harry leaned back against the counter right next to Louis, close enough that their arms were touching, and Louis nodded at Harry’s question, quietly supporting him. They were a unit, and as Niall turned to look at Chris, he saw him blanche at the question. He cleared his throat lightly before answering. 

“We were thinking instead of leading in with the whole ‘back together, stronger than ever,’ bit, we could start with a bit more dramatic tension? Maybe a few tweets back and forth, introduce some of the rivalry we left off with. Then as we get closer to the tour, we’ll have you on a few shows-- Corden, Fallon, Norton --where we see a bit of banter, maybe a rude response or two. Then a GMA performance where you’re back to laughing again.” Chris grew more comfortable as he spoke, nodding along with himself. He seemed to be completely oblivious to the looks he was getting from everyone else in the room. 

“So you’re wantin’ to use the fake feuds that started a bit of actual shit, then?” Niall said, not able to hold back the anger and frustration he was feeling at seeing the same old bullshit being brought out again. “Or were you thinkin’ you might start some kind of new shit, like maybe me and Harry hate each other now?” 

Chris laughed uneasily. “Obviously you and Harry wouldn’t hate each other.” He shook his head and then nodded toward Louis. “ We were actually thinking Louis and Zayn. Harry and Zayn could work too. Even Liam and Zayn, maybe, though you’ve got quite a bit of social media reach, Liam, so we’d need to be careful with that one.” Chris reached out and patted Liam’s arm, withdrawing his hand quickly when Liam jerked away. 

The uneasy silence that settled felt like a fist in Niall’s gut. He struggled to find words to say through his rage when Zayn spoke up. 

“So it sounds like you want me to be the bad one, then.” Zayn’s voice was flat as he stared off to the side, not looking at any of the other boys. “I’ll write the first tweet or summat, say shit at Louis. Then he’ll--” 

“Say fuckin’ nothin’, because you won’t be putting out some bullshit fake tweet in the first place.” Louis rocked forward, standing up straight, his jaw tight. Beside him, Harry leaned forward too, backing him up. “Sorry, Zayn. It’s not going to be like that again.” 

“We’ve done the research, and it seems like this will be the most lu--” 

“Think you should have another look at it, Chris,” Harry said, his face serious even as his tone sounded almost conversational. “We’re not havin’ it.” He spread his hands and shook his head, looking Chris in the eyes. 

“I think we can talk about this more, boys. Zayn seems to understand that--” 

“You need to leave now.” Liam put his arm around Chris’ shoulder and began guiding him to the door. “We’ll talk to you about this in another week. Set up the meeting, do whatever. You just--” he opened the door and gestured toward Chris’ Range Rover-- “you need to go.” He had the stern tone to his voice that he used to get when they were first starting out, a seriousness that brooked no argument. Chris could only nod, trying to stammer out a goodbye as Liam shut the door behind him. 

Niall shook his head, trying to rid himself of the old feelings of powerlessness that had taken hold of him as Chris was talking. He’d spent the past few years getting better at speaking up, at disagreeing and reasoning and fighting for what he actually wanted. He bit his lip, wanting the space to think through everything that had happened and figure out what it was that had set him back like that. 

“Fuck off, Liam.” Zayn’s voice bit through Niall’s focus and made him look up, curious to see what he’d missed. Liam was standing in front of Zayn, arms raised as he took a slow step back. 

“I just wanted to see if--” 

“It was shit. Course I’m not okay.” Zayn slammed his fist against the counter, rattling the wine glasses that were nearby. “Should’ve fucking known they’d wanna do that again.” 

“We’re not lettin’ ‘em,” Louis said, moving toward Zayn carefully. “Fuck that shit. We’re doin’ this together. We’ll fight them together.” Niall felt himself nodding along, a twinge of hope in his chest. 

Zayn pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes and then ran his hands through his hair. “You don’t fuckin’ get it. They’re goin’ to use someone, it’s goin’ to be me. ‘S the easiest story to sell.” Zayn balled his fists as he spoke, his anger sucking all the air from the room. “The Muslim one? Yeah, he’s a shit, fuckin’ crazy, hates everyone.” 

“We know that’s not you,” Liam said quietly. 

“Yeah, ‘course,” Zayn said, tugging at his hair and then letting it go. “Except I am crazy. And I don’t like a lot of people. And I’m too much for everyone but maybe fucking Nialler, and he probably can’t stand me right now either, can he?” 

Niall stared back, dumbstruck. He locked eyes with Zayn, trying to tell him everything he wanted to say without actually speaking, since the right words didn’t want to come out. If it worked, Zayn didn’t show it. Instead he pushed off from the counter and headed for the door, walking out into the grey drizzle of the late afternoon. 

“Fuck.” Liam pinched the bridge of his nose and then groaned loudly, letting his head fall back. “We’ve gotta go after him.” Louis stopped him, wrapping his fingers around Liam’s arm and shaking his head. 

“He needs a minute, and we need to get our shit together. He needs to know we won’t let them fuck ‘im over. We fucked up, not sayin’ anythin’ the moment Chris started talking.” Louis reached in his back pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Need a fag, m’self. Outside?” 

They nodded and went outside, Niall lagging behind. Harry hung back and threw an arm around him, rubbing his arm gently. “Alright, Niall?” 

“Fuck no,” Niall said with a laugh. Harry stopped and turned toward Niall, opening his arms and letting him fall forward into an embrace. 

“We’re gonna get him back,” Harry said. “And this time it really will be us. Our band.” Niall pulled out of the hug long enough to call Harry a sap, and then went back to hugging him even tighter.

“Oi, you two. We’re tryin’ to plot a proper comeback out here.” Louis leaned inside, holding his cigarette as far from the door as he could. 

They talked for hours, Niall keeping one eye on the door, watching for Zayn to return. As it started to get darker, he got more nervous, worried that Zayn could be lost or that something might’ve happened to him. The drizzle he’d walked out into had turned into steadier rain, and the chill in the air was growing colder. 

Niall was getting ready to start an actual search when Zayn walked in the door, clothes wet and hair clinging to his face. Liam was the first to get to him, taking off his own jacket and wrapping it around Zayn’s shoulders tenderly. The rest of the boys crowded around, making sure he was alright. Zayn just shook his head. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah? I can’t do it tonight.” He let Liam wrap an arm around his shoulder and guide him to his room. Liam followed him in and Niall was left staring after them along with Louis and Harry. 

“Christ, I hope that’s good,” Niall said, half under his breath. Harry and Louis just nodded, sharing a look with one another and then nudging Niall’s shoulder gently. 

“We’ve had a shit day. Drink? Fast food delivery?” Louis raised his eyebrows and Niall laughed at him. 

“Yeah, alright, alright. Let’s go.” 

They practically gorged themselves on fast food and beers, talking about nothing having to do with music, the band, or anything remotely important. Niall fell asleep that night knowing he’d wake up feeling like shit the next day, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. It was going to be alright. That was all that mattered. 

He finally dragged himself out of bed at 11 the next morning, not feeling as hungover as he’d thought he might but still not particularly wanting to have any deep talks just yet. Fortunately, the house was quiet. Everyone else was still sleeping, and Niall took the opportunity to make himself toast and tea and eat it in silence, watching the rain that fell intermittently in the grey mist outside. He was about to turn on a bit of golf when Harry emerged into the kitchen, naked except for his pants and yawning a good morning. Niall couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I’m lucky you put pants on, aren’t I?” 

Harry nodded, opening the fridge and staring inside before pulling out a pile of contents. “I’m making breakfast if you’d like.” He flicked on the kettle and then lifted it up, shaking it to check that its water level was sufficient before setting it back down and flicking it on again. “And tea. And coffee.” He turned back to Niall and yawned again. “You’ll eat?” 

“Sure, yeah, always,” Niall said. He shrugged and then turned away, deciding to let Harry get on with his morning routine. “Mind if I watch a bit of golf?” Harry made a sort of non-commital grunting sound that Niall took to mean he didn’t care, and Niall switched on the telly, searching through the channels til he found a golf match and then settling back into the couch to let himself get lost in the familiar comfort of the sport. 

Behind him, he could hear Harry humming to himself occasionally as he cooked, the slight clatter of dishes and utensils a pleasing counterpoint to the stillness of the golf he was watching. He thought for a moment about being on tour again, wondering if it would be different than his solo tours had been. They’d found a lot of ways to turn themselves into a little family on the road, him and his band, but few of them were the same as the ways he and the boys had bonded when they were together. He wanted more moments like this, if it was possible. One of them cooking while a couple watched tv. Dinners around a long table some nights, with everyone having a beer or two and then most of them heading off to sleep instead of out to party til the morning. 

“Good morning, family,” Louis said as he finally joined Harry in the kitchen. “Nialler. You been up long?”

Niall turned to respond, catching Louis hugging Harry from behind as he cooked, his face pressed against Harry’s back as he kissed him good morning. He rolled his eyes but didn’t bother teasing them about it; it was actually pretty cute. “Hour or so. Not too long. Did Liam ever head back to his room?” 

“Didn’t hear him, but we pretty much passed out when we went to bed.” Louis picked up the mug of tea that Harry had just made him and took a sip. “You didn’t hear anythin’ then?” 

Niall was about to respond when he heard the sound of someone coming down the hall. He looked back and saw Zayn and Liam come to a stop in the doorway. Liam’s arm was around Zayn’s waist and Zayn was tucked into his side, both of them looking more peaceful than they had since arriving. Niall quickly exchanged a glance with both Harry and Louis, not quite sure what to say. They didn’t seem to know either. 

“Morning.” Zayn was the first one to speak up, looking at each other the other boys in turn. “Before you start losing your shit, I can tell you we’re not back together yet. Right, Liam?”

Liam squeezed Zayn’s side gently and shook his head. “No. Not back together. Yet. But we’re talking. Really want to figure out how to make this whole thing work. The reunion, the five of us, me and Zayn. All of it.” As he smiled down at Zayn, Niall bit back the urge to whoop and yell with glee. Working on it. That was more than they had done for a while. 

“Well lads, I’ve been sayin’ we all need therapy for years, maybe it’s time you start listening to me and we go see someone together.” Louis leaned back against the counter, a smirk on his lips and a playful lilt to his tone that said he was kidding-- mostly.

His comment was met with a bit of laughter, but as Niall thought about it, he realized that Louis really had said it before. It was only a few times when the band was together, but it grew more frequent after his mum passed away. They all saw therapists individually, of course, and he knew Harry and Louis went to someone together as well. But maybe it made sense for them to give it a shot as a whole group. They were like a family after all. 

“Know you were mostly jokin’, Louis, but we probably should.” Niall felt all eyes turn to him when he spoke. “A lot of shit happened to us when we were still kids. We went through it together, and we’re about to get tossed back into something pretty similar. So what if we did go to therapy before we toured, talk shit out?” 

“It’s not a bad idea,” Harry said. He’d moved all his cooking off the heat and come to stand next to Louis. “It’s helped us loads.” 

“I’d do it. Not sure what it’ll look like, but if it’s all of us in it together it might be alright?” Zayn put his arm around Liam’s waist as he spoke and then turned to look at him, his eyebrows raised. 

“Yeah, absolutely.” Liam nodded, the hint of a smile on his face. “It can only make us stronger, right?” 

“Right. We’re doin’ all this together. Which means they’re not getting to use Zayn or make up a bunch of fake feuds between us.” Niall’s heart was racing, but he didn’t feel panicked or anxious at all. It was more like the feeling he got when he woke up with the kernel of a song in his brain and all he wanted was to get up and set it down on the page. “What if we don’t just write a couple new songs? What if we come up with something that’s us-- all of us --and tell them if they want that, they’re gonna have to let us take control a bit more.” 

“So it’s not their reunion anymore? I like tha’,” Louis said, his accent more pronounced with his growing excitement. Everyone nodded, the energy of the moment filling the room like an electric current buzzing through them. 

Niall stood up and moved toward the kitchen, gesturing for Zayn and Liam to join him. “Alright, if we’re doin’ this, we’ve got one week to get a proper start. Let’s eat now and then write all day. They want a One Direction reunion, we’ll give it to ‘em our way.” 

The boys crowded around, scraping food onto their plates and talking together happily. They spent more than a week writing, of course. In all it took them a few months of long days and late nights in the studio, writing, recording, arranging, and mixing their tracks til they’d created a sound that was somehow both familiar and brand new: the sound of the five of them together and as individuals, blended in harmony. 

In the process, they found someone who was willing to see them as a group. The first sessions weren’t much, but a few weeks in something shifted and they started being honest about topics they’d avoided for years. It was slow and tedious, but it felt like progress. Niall started seeing the others not just as mates, but as close friends he could trust. 

It made all the difference in how they wrote together, too. He saw it and so did the rest of them. When they finally had the album done, the label was salivating for it. They’d agreed to the terms the boys had put forth, eager to get the potential revenue that the extra album would bring. 

They played their first show to a sold out crowd at the O2 Arena. As they stood backstage, waiting to run out and begin, they shared a look with one another. Niall was the first to open his arms, but the others joined him almost immediately as they pulled together into a five-bodied embrace, taking up too much room and laughing as they bumped heads. 

“We’ve got this, haven’t we lads?” Niall said, his head bumping against Liam and Harry’s on either side of him. 

“It’s us,” Zayn said, a huge smile on his face. He looked more excited than any of them. “Course we’ve got it.”


	3. Epilogue: The Tour

Rolling Stone Magazine, 05 June 2020  
“Five Stars Shine Bright As One Direction Begins Again”  
Katie Pimms

The lights came up on the stage and the piercing screams of thousands of fans filled the arena. If they came here for the usual show from a reunited band-- greatest hits with a couple new songs thrown in harkening back to the melodic pop songs that made them the sensation they were in their early days --they left having seen something totally different. One Direction brought new life to their band and to the pop and boy band genres as a whole with a bold, daring, and utterly unique show that exceeds expectations.

Their sixth album, Talk Therapy, isn’t just a lazy rehashing of their old formula. Instead, it manages to blend the five unique styles they’ve honed as solo artists, and they didn’t shy away from this new sound for a moment at their first show, kicking things off with “Smoke,” a rock song that shows off the underrated vocal chops of Louis Tomlinson, whose name also appears in the writing credits of almost every song on the album. 

The crowd was frenzied, and the boys (can’t help calling them that, though they’ve made it clear with this release that they’re all grown up now) fed off it. Harry Styles seemed the most enthusiastic about being back on stage with the band-- he hugged all the other band members within minutes of the show starting, then charged forward to lead the vocals for “Baby Blue,” a sexed up tune that conjured the spirit of the Rolling Stones right there in the O2. 

We got some classics, of course, but it was the new music that really let the undeniable talent that One Direction has shine through. The songs penned by Liam Payne and Zayn Malik-- yes, the same Zayn Malik whose abrupt exit from the band in 2015 brought many fans to their knees --were the highlight of the show, Malik showing off his impressive vocal range in “Hold Up” and then sliding right into “Let Me Down” where his duet with Payne came out like whiskey and honey. 

Not to be left out, Niall Horan once again proved that he’s a powerhouse performer with deep folk and rock roots. We got three ballads on the new album, with Horan taking the lead on a crowd favorite of the night, “We’re Enough.” The harmonies were spot on here, and frankly made me realize just how badly I’ve missed having One Direction touring regularly. It’s unclear what we’ll get after this album finishes touring. When asked what they had in store, Tomlinson gave this coy answer: 

“We’re excited for this...just livin’ in the moment. We had fun with the album, we were really honest this time around and it’s all down to how we feel at the end of this. Think we’ll take it as it comes.” 

If they keep putting out music this good, all of us-- journalists as well as fans both serious and casual --will take it as it comes too. We’d be silly not to.

_One Direction’s world tour kicked off at the O2 Arena. The band will travel throughout Europe, Asia, Africa, and Australia as well as both South and North America before the final show at New York’s Madison Square Garden in March 2021._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> The fic post is [here](https://tmblr.co/Z0sn1v2f7B0Oz) if you'd like to reblog it, and as always kudos and comments are deeply appreciated/make my day.


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